Is it realistic to think that b/c we work opposite schedules my fiance and I will be able to care for our own?

baby (instead of having to use and pay for daycare)?





I work early days, he works late nights.





My SIL says that leaves no time for us to sleep... but I think it's not like stay-at-home moms have a set sleep time either...





I have no kids yet, so what do you think?

Is it realistic to think that b/c we work opposite schedules my fiance and I will be able to care for our own?
As long as your schedules over-lap so either is home with baby, or you have a back-up sitter for emergencies. Husband %26amp; I worked different shifts for years, it's true you don't have as much 'couple-time'. You don't get burn-out from too much time together, which we saw a lot, in those couples who would never think of not being together ALL the time. It can %26amp; does work with effort, is boyfriend okay with it, has to be mutual desire to make it work, otherwise, you're a single mom.
Reply:I do this exact thing, and it works SO well and we dont have to pay a dime for daycare OR see our child be raised by someone else.





However you should know that he will get less sleep than you. Hopefully he's a good "napper" and can do okay with less sleep.





You should keep baby up with you as late as possible. My daughter and I go to bed together at 10:30pm. She is 5 months and sleeps until about 10Am. Since hubby goes to bed at 4-5am, he gets 5-6 hours of sleep.





As soon as you get home from work, if there is a few hours overlap, take her off his hands if he needs a nap.





I think its a wonderful way of doing things becuase it really makes the parenting 50/50-- he has to learn to do everything and function on his own, rather than having you do things for him.





btw-- my daughter is 5 months, so things are ever-evolving (with regards to how much they are up and how much they sleep) but it's working great so far!
Reply:It can definitely work, with the right people and the right work environments.





Can your fiance work overnight, and then stay up all day though? My sister and brother-in-law tried her working 1st shift and him working 3rd and he just couldn't stay up all day, it was too tough for him. He switched to second shift and it works out well, although they have little "us" time now.
Reply:As long as you both are okay being on different schedules than I think it is okay. My fiance and I do it, but we have the weekends off and I make sure to take a day or two off through the month for us time together.
Reply:it is very realistic since my husband and i were able to do this. however, we didnt have "us" time so it sucked! We decided it was best if he stayed at home, and i worked full time. i stayed home the first 3 months, and he is a stay at home dad and loving it.
Reply:Absolutely! I actually have a friend who seeked another job so her and her husband could have opposite schedules and save money on daycare. Daycare is VERY expensive nowdays. In addition, babies are better off with Mom and Dad than at daycare if it can be arranged. If you can have the same work schedules though, it would make things much more enjoyable to spend time as a whole family together, but if not, then at least make sure you try to get the same days off.
Reply:That's what my husband and I did. But unfortunately, he didn't help out as much as he should have. He always complained about being too tired to come home and care for our son and that he couldn't fall back asleep after giving him his feedings. It really does depend on how you both adapt to this situation. I work full time from 8-4:15, come home and watch my son. For some reason, my husband says he can't do the same thing, even though I have more on my plate since I run errands, cook and clean. Men! I've learned something after having a child...life is not always going to go the way you plan and you'll be handling most of the responsibility with a child, even if your husband loves you dearly.
Reply:My husband works midnights and I work a normal 8-5 job. I am leaving for work around the time that he comes home from work. If he was to try to stay up to watch the kids, he would only get about a 4-5 hour window of time to sleep. That's just not enough for any normal person. Maybe you could look into part time care... it might be a good option for you.
Reply:My husband and I tried this and it was hell. Seriously. I work days, he works nights. By the time I got home he had 4-5 hours before he had to be back at work. Plus newborns do not sleep as much as you expect. In fact, they tend to not sleep when you need it most!! My husband had the hardest out of us for sure, because our baby really didn't nap for him during the day, so after working a full night shift, he had to take care of the baby for 9-10 hours. We lasted about 3 months before we decided we had to do part-time daycare. Now he takes care of her for the morning, but when it's time for him to go to bed he takes her to daycare and I pick her up.